Vlad The Impaler vs. Samurai

Disclaimer: I don't own Deadliest Warrior; but I wish I did.

Deadliest Warrior, Chapter 27: Vlad The Impaler vs. Samurai

                    Redemption Match!

Narrator:
Vlad The Impaler; the medieval Romanian Prince whose insatiable thirst for blood inspired the legend of Dracula. Last time, the prince impaled Attila the Hun, and began a quest to expand his collection.
(We see Vlad ordering the impalement of Attila).

Narrator:
The Samurai; Japanese lightning fast dealers of death. Last time around, the Samurai failed to stop a thieving pirate, and paid for that failure, with death.
(We see the Samurai blown back by the Pirate's Grenado).

                                                     WHO IS DEADLIEST?
To find out, our world class fighters are testing histories most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is....THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!

Vlad The Impaler
Height: 5' 9"
Weight: 170 LBS
Armor: Chain Mail, Steel Plates, Shield, Steel Helmet
Loyalty: Wallachia
Win(s): (1) Attila The Hun

Samurai
Height: 5' 3"
Weight: 135 LBS
Armor: Steel & Leather
Loyalty: Daimyo
Lost: (1) Pirate

Narrator: Here at the Fight Club, we take four weapons used by the Prince Of Darkness, Vlad The  Impaler:

Kilij
Halberd
Steel Crossbow
Hand Cannon

Narrator: and pit them against the weapons used by Feudal Japan's greatest warrior: The Samurai

Katana
Naginata
Yumi
Kanabo

Narrator: For the first test, our two warriors will bring out their deadly blades for some close range combat: Vlad's Kilij and the Samurai's Katana.

Max: I like the Kilij for this. It's longer, and with his superior armor, Vlad clearly has the edge here.

Geoff: I disagree. I believe that the Katana easily outclasses the Kilij. Plus, the Samurai seems to be able to uses his weapon better.

Dr. Dorian: Well, I guess I break the tie. By comparing them, the armor each possesses are relatively equal, with Vlad's being only slightly better. That being said, I think that because of it's longer blade, I would give the edge to the Kilij.

Edge: Vlad The Impaler

Narrator: Now comes the second test, in which our warriors fire some shots off with their long range weapons: The Samurai Yumi, and Vlad's Steel Crossbow.

Dr. Dorian: No contest here, for skill, range, and accuracy, the Yumi is obviously the superior weapon.

Geoff: That's right. The Crossbow has power, but it lacks accuracy and it takes forever to reload.

Edge: Samurai

Narrator: Next come the third test, and things get bloody when our two teams show off their mid range weapons: The Impaler's Halberd against the Samurai's Naginata.

Max: Well, the Naginata is a lighter weapon, and can probably be used quicker.

Dr. Dorian: But how much good will it really do?

Geoff: I like the Halberd for this one. It has multiple uses, and the heaviness of the weapon will easily affect him through even his armor.

Max: Yeah, if he can hit with that massive thing.

Dr. Dorian: True, but I think the odds are in his favor. I give the mid range edge to the Halberd.

Edge: Vlad The Impaler

Narrator: And now comes the final test; the special weapons: The Samurai's Kanabo and Vlad The Impaler's Hand Cannon.

Max: That hand cannon is about as powerful as the pirates flintlock pistols,  I think. And as we saw, they weren't particularly effective against the Samurai's plate armor.

Geoff: True, on the other hand, while I have no doubts about the Kanabo being able to put Vlad down, it's  a very unwieldy weapon.

Dr. Dorian: Looking at the pros and cons of both theses weapons, I have to pick the one I know will work, even if it is slow. The special edge goes to the Kanabo.

Edge: Samurai

Narrator: With all the testing complete, Max Geiger uploads the data gathered from the tests into the battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studio, to simulate a battle to the death between these two warriors. To make sure that victory isn't snatched by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated 1000 times. Who will win in battle of opposites? The deadly Impaler, who only fights to satisfy his terrible bloodlust? Or the honorable Samurai, who fights according to the will of Bushido?

Close Range Edge: Vlad's Kilij

Mid Range Edge: Vlad's Halberd

Long Range Edge: Samurai's Yumi

Special Weapon Edge: Samurai's Kanabo

It's time to find out which warrior is truly the deadliest. Max hits the button on the computer, and suddenly the screen goes "Matrix" on us.

This fight takes place in a poor Japanese village. A samurai makes his way to the village on horse back. There had been disturbing news of a murder in the area, and he wanted to make sure everything was secure.

But when he reached the city, he was treated to a horrible sight: The gate guards stared vacantly into space, dead and impaled at their posts. The gates were wide open, and the Samurai could tell from there that a massacre had taken place. This was not a warrior village, so few people in the town would be capable of repelling an assault. The streets were littered with dead bodies, most of them villagers. A few of the bodies appeared to be the enemy, if their strange armor was any indication. Gripping his Katana tight, the Samurai knew he had to make a judgement call. He could stay and fight to avenge these people, or go back and call for aid.

Vlad the Impaler staked the streets, surprisingly bored all things considered. The people in this town were nothing. Not one of them had been able to challenge his men, let alone him. Turning the corner though, something caught the mad man's eye. It was a Samurai, decked out in full armor, surveying Vlad's handy work. Vlad grinned. Here was someone who would surely give him a good fight.

The Samurai quickly left the city. He knew that any force that could slaughter a village would not be stopped by one man. As he approached his horse though, he started to get an ominous feeling. Just as he prepared to mount, a shot rang out, and the horse fell over, dead. The Samurai whirled around, snatching his Yumi from his now dead steed's side, and faced his attacker.

Vlad grinned, proud of his shot. He had worried that the Samurai was going to get away, so he had taken action. He aimed his Hand Cannon at the Samurai, who was pointing a bow at him. Now that he had nowhere to go, the fight would have to begin.

The Samurai wasted no time and fired an arrow at his opponent's arm, hitting him just below the shoulder. Vlad grunted as he dropped his gun, before ducking for cover. Using his other hand, he pulled out the arrow. Seeing his blood flow gave Vlad a rush, and he couldn't wait for the battle to continue. Strapping his Halberd to his back, he picked up his shield and Kilij. Taking a deep breath, Vlad left his coverage and charged the Samurai.

When Vlad had ducked behind the city wall to avoid his arrows, the Samurai knew he had to act quickly. He pulled all the weapons he could off his dead horse, while trying to keep up his guard. When Vlad charged, he was ready. He unleashed as many arrows as he could fire, but Vlad's large shield blocked most of them. One of the last did hit Vlad in his right leg though, which slowed him down somewhat. But when Vlad got to close, the Samurai was forced to drop the Yumi in favor of his Katana. He swung upwards even as he unsheathed it, the blade meeting Vlad's slightly larger Kilij with a resounding crash of steel on steel.

Vlad pushed him back, his extra hight giving him a slight strength advantage. He swung his blade in an attempt to behead the Samurai, but his blow was deflected skillfully. The next slash grazed harmlessly off the Samurai's armor. The Samurai in turn found his attempts at killing the Prince foiled by his large shield.

Locking blades again, Vlad suddenly lashed out with a kick which sent the Samurai falling backwards. Vlad sprung foreword, his blade eager for blood. Luckily for the Samurai, he managed to roll out of the way just in time. Coming up in a crouch, he spotted his Naginata right next to him. Knowing he would need to change his strategy, the Samurai quickly sheathed his sword. As Vlad charged at him, the Samurai grabbed the Naginata and stabbed foreword. This punctured the shield slightly and pushed Vlad back.

Vlad used his sword to block a stab from the Naginata, but that was what the Samurai was hoping for. Twirling the Naginata, he sent the Kilij spinning from Vlad's grasp, leaving him open for a stab from the blade. It was only the steel plates on his armor that saved him. Quickly stepping back, the Impaler was forced on the defensive as the Samurai rained blows down on his shield. Needing more room, Vlad jumped back and reached for his belt. It was here that he had tied his Steel Crossbow before the charge. He preferred his Hand Cannon, but this would do in a pinch.

Justing needing a distraction, Vlad pointed and fired with no real concern for accuracy. Therefore, both he and the Samurai were surprised when the bolt struck the Samurai right in the kneecap. The Samurai cried out in pain, giving Vlad the chance he needed. Deciding to forego all defense in exchange for an unstoppable offense, Vlad threw down his shield and picked up his Halberd.

Charging, the Samurai was just able to raise his Naginata in time to block the attack. The two weapons clashed, the tired combatants battling for dominance. Vlad went for an overhead slice, only for the Samurai to side step it. The Samurai tried to stab Vlad between his steel plates, but Vlad blocked with the body of Halberd. He then lashed out, the spike on top of the Halberd hitting dead center in the Samurai's armor, sending him stumbling back.

The Samurai grunted in pain, but used his distance to perform a wide sweep with the intent of separating Vlad's head from his shoulders. It didn't work, though Vlad did lose his helmet in the process. Vlad brought the Halberd up, and the Samurai just moved out of the way. He stabbed at Vlad's head with his Naginata, and Vlad was almost to slow to dodge. He survived, but the blade sliced off part of his ear!

The sting of his injury and the flowing of his blood spurred the madness in Vlad. Giving a fearsome battle cry he raised his Halberd high, and brought it down with all the force he could muster. The Samurai raised his weapon, but the Halberd struck the pole, breaking the weapon in two.

Vlad tried to press his advantage by thrusting foreword, but the Samurai sidestepped the attack, and punched Vlad right in the face, breaking his nose. Vlad growled and responded with a kick to the stomach, knocking the Samurai to the ground.

The Samurai landed with a thud, his hand falling on something. Looking at it, he saw it was his Kanabo! Seeing Vlad charging at him, the Samurai said a silent thank you. Vlad brought his Halberd down, only for it to stop dead when it struck the sturdy Kanabo. Vlad backed up as the Samurai stood, hauling the heavy club up with him.

Vlad tried to attack again, but every move was blocked by the Kanabo. The Samurai would try to crush Vlad, but he couldn't move fast enough now.

The two brought there weapons together in a great crash, the Kanabo slamming into the Halberd so hard Vlad actually feared for a moment that it might break. It didn't but the blow was so strong Vlad's arm went numb. The Samurai fared somewhat better, and with a great heave, knocked the Halberd away from Vlad. Then, flowing with the movement, he swept the prince's feet out from under him. Vlad landed rather painfully on his back, the wind knocked out of him. Looking up, his eyes widened as the Kanabo was about to smash his head like a melon. At the last minute though, he rolled out of the way and back to his feet. Since he was without a weapon, Vlad made a mad dash to where his Halberd had landed; the Samurai not far behind.

Vlad managed to grab his Halberd just in time. Turning around, he was forced to dodge an attack from the Samurai. But he wasn't quite fast enough, as the Kanabo just clipped his shoulder, nearly dislocating, and sending Vlad off balance. The Samurai grabs this chance and stabs the Kanabo foreword into Vlad's gut, causing him to double over in pain, as well as knocking him to the ground.

Vlad keeps ahold of his Halberd though. As the Samurai raises his club up for a finishing move, Vlad slams the Halberd's blade into the side of the Samurai's leg. The Samurai cries out, unable to complete his attack, allowing Vlad time to get back to his feet. Taking a step foreword, Vlad strikes the Samurai in the side with the staff of the Halberd, knocking him onto the ground face first.

The Samurai tries to stand, only for a blinding pain to enter his back. Twisting his neck as much as he can, his eyes widen in horror. Vlad has driven the spike at the top of his Halberd into the base of the Samurai's spine! The Samurai tries desperately to move, but it is too late. He has lost all feeling in his legs.

Vlad grins madly, his victory all but assured. With a shrill whistle, he calls out his army which had been waiting away from the warriors battle ground. Vlad had ordered them not to interfere, and the men were to scared of him to disobey. They came and did as he ordered.

The Samurai looked on as his Kanabo was taken away, and a group of men lifted him up. Slowly, he was carried back toward the dead village. Where the army had set up camp, Vlad saw more of the impaling spikes Vlad was known for. But one spike was currently occupied, and in much better shape. The Samurai didn't know it, but he was looking at the body of the late Attila the Hun. The spikes here were only meant for those who caught Vlad's interest, and managed to put up enough of a fight.

Of course, the Samurai didn't know all this. All he knew was that he was being restrained, while more men brought forth an empty stake. He tried to struggle, but without his legs or any weapons, what was to come was… inevitable.

---

When Vlad was done being treated for his injuries, he got up and surveyed his newest acquisition. The Samurai now hung across from his last decent opponent, a look of horror frozen on his face. Vlad's laughter filled the camp. Whatever force had driven him here had his thanks. Once more a new wonderful opponent had been delivered to him. And once more, he had come out of the battle, the victor.

Winner: Vlad The Impaler

Vlad The Impaler: 565

Kilij: 315

Halberd: 190

Hand Cannon: 50

Steel Crossbow: 10

Samurai: 435

Naginata: 150

Katana: 115

Yumi: 90

Kanabo: 80

Narrator: In this battle of two very different warriors, it was Vlad who once again snatched up a win. The Samurai tried his best, but even with his best weapon, the Naginata, he could not redeem himself.

Geoff: I'm not too surprised Vlad managed to pull this one. Despite the fact that his weapons lack grace, they more then make up for it in sheer power. While the Samurai easily dominated in the long range category, once things got up close and personal, Vlad's strength was enough to bag him a win. Even though both warriors were wearing decent armor, I think Vlad's was more helpful. As we've seen, chain mail is very resistant to slashing type weapons. The most surprising thing here is that the one black powder weapon actually got one of the lowest kill scores. I can only attribute that to the Hand Cannon's low reload speed, and less then perfect aiming system. Either way, both these combatants put up one heck of a fight.

We see Vlad watching as his soldiers carefully load up his two trophies along with the rest of the supplies. He watches as the few Samurai weapons that could be recovered are placed with the other weapons he has taken. Vlad gulped down the rest of his red wine and got ready to move out. There were more warriors out there, he was sure of it. And he planned to kill every last one of them.

The End.