Fictional Warrior, Chapter 1: Kenpachi Zaraki vs. Zabuza Momochi
Narrator:
Kenpachi Zaraki; the battle loving Captain of Squad 11
(We see Kenpachi laughing maniacally while swinging his sword).
Narrator:
Zabuza Momochi; former swordsman of the mist and master of the Silent Killing Technique.
(We see Zabuza slaughter enemy ninjas in a thick mist).
WHO IS DEADLIEST?
To find out, our world class fighters are testing fictions most lethal combatants. Using 100% fake science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is....THE DEADLIEST FICTIONAL WARRIOR!
Kenpachi Zaraki
Series: Bleach
Captain of Squad Twelve
Specialty: Sword Based Combat
Zabuza Momochi:
Series: Naruto
Former Member of the Seven Swordsman of the Mist
Specialty: Assassination, Water Based Attacks
Narrator: To help us get a better perspective on what makes these two deadly men tick, we have invited some people that consider themselves experts on their give warrior. Representing Captain Kenpachi: his lieutenant Yachiru Kusajishi and his "best friend" Ichigo Kurosaki.
Narrator: Here to represent the Demon of the Hidden Mist: loyal servant Haku.
Narrator: Tonight the categories have changed to represent the combatants.
Durability
Unarmed
Sword
Special Techniques
Narrator: The first challenge will be a test of the warriors durability in battle.
Haku: Zabuza-sama was never one to take battle lightly. He possessed a will that allowed him to keep going when he should by all reasoning be dead.
(We see the battle on the bridge, where Zabuza fought without the use of his arms, against a mob of mercenaries. Despite being stabbed repeatedly, he was still standing.)
Haku: I think that kind of pure, almost demonic will power will surprise this Captain, and that will be his downfall.
Ichigo: Having fought Kenpachi, a know for a fact that it is nigh impossible to take him down. And even then, it's just as hard to make him stay down.
(We see some clips of Kenpachi's various fights, from Ichigo to the Arrancars, and the amount of punishment he is able to handle).
Ichigo: It doesn't matter how tough Zabuza thinks he is, Kenpachi will cut him down like the rest.
Dr. Dorian: After reviewing the the footage, and taking in the experts opinions on the matter, we believe that in terms of durability, Kenpachi has the advantage.
Edge: Kenpachi
Dr. Dorian: No offense to your master of course Ms. Haku.
Haku (smiling gently): None taken. And sir, I'm a boy.
Dr. Dorian: . . . . . . . really?
Narrator: Next our two warriors will have their skills in unarmed combat put to the test.
Yachiru: I've seen Kenny fight with and without his sword. His super awesome strength and durability are what really help the style. He'll take down that stupid ninja guy no problem!
(We then see Yachiru go through some of Kenpachi's brawler-style combat moves. They impress the DW team with the way that even though it lacks finesse, all of the attacks are deadly).
Haku: For a Captain who is supposed to be a master of combat, that was rather disappointing. I could see quite a few gaps in his style that would leave him open for Zabuza-sama to take him out. Allow me to demonstrate the style of a trained ninja . . .
(Haku launches at her targets, striking out in quick smooth attacks. The speed of the attacks alone is enough to impress, but when combined with the deadly effectiveness, the judges were blown away).
Dr. Dorian: I have to agree with Haku. Looking at the two styles, it's clear that Zabuza has much better skills when it comes to hand to hand. Kenpachi is more of a brawler, which is fine, it suits his style. But in this instance, I'm giving the advantage to Zabuza.
Edge: Zabuza
Yachiru: Wow Haku, your a super awesome ninja lady!
Haku: *sigh* Actually little girl, I'm a boy.
Yachiru: Prove it.
Haku: Huh?
Yachiru: No one who looks that girly could possibly be a boy! I'll prove it . . . (she leaps on top of Haku, trying to find his girly bits. Haku puts his hand out to stop her, only to find that Yachiru can bite really hard)
Haku: Oh God! Get her off of me!
Narrator: The Next challenge is one of th-
Haku: She's eating my hair!
Narrator: . . . one of the most -
Haku: Stay away from my clothes!
Narrator: Are You Done? You Sure? Cause this is the last time. Good. One of the most important challenges th-
Haku: SAVE ME ZABUZA-SAMMA!!!!!!!!!
Narrator: Ah, screw it, here's the sword challenge.
(Down at the demolition yard)
Ichigo: Hey has anyone seen Haku?
Haku: *Gasps* I'm here . . . I'm here. I just had to freeze that pink monstrosity.
Ichigo: What was that all about anyway?
Haku: You didn't hear?
Ichigo: Nope, sorry. Was it important?
Haku: No, let's just get back to work. Zabuza-sama wields his sword with grace and ease despite it's large size. He can do every thing from slash it to throwing it like a giant shuriken.
With that, Haku proceeded to showcase some of Zabuza's techniques. From slashes to jabs, Haku easily decimates the testing grounds, leaving a bloody mess of dummies in ninja's wake.
Ichigo: Okay, I'll admit that was pretty impressive, but Kenpachi is certainly no slouch in the sword department. This is pretty much all he lives for.
With that Ichigo walked to the second testing field, this one with a giant white tower in it. It was an exact replica of the towers found in Soul Society.
Haku: So, is the building full of dummies?
Ichigo: Nope.
Haku: So what's the target?
Ichigo: Watch.
Ichigo stood next to the tower, and began to raise his spiritual pressure to that of Kenpachi's when he felt it was high enough, he channeled it into the replica of the Captain's sword. Then, in one quick swing, he swung the sword. For a moment, nothing happened. Then, a long, diagonal paper thin slash appeared on the building, before the building slowly slipped down the slash, and collapsed.
Ichigo: And that's the kind of swordplay you can expect from Kenpachi. Yeah, he has some techniques, but that right there should tell you all you need to know.
Dr. Dorian: Well, he has a point. Combined with his strength, Kenpachi deals a mean combo of strength and power. Yes Zabuza has the technique, but if it can take down Zabuza quickly, it might be too late. This edge goes to Kenpachi.
Edge: Kenpachi
Ichigo approached Haku, after turning in his testing sword. It had taken him a lot thinking, but he figured he'd just go for it.
Ichigo: Hey Haku, I was just wonder . . .
Haku: Yes Ichigo-san? What is it?
Ichigo: Well, I was just thinking, after this is over, you want to go do something?
Haku: Ichigo, are you asking me out?
Ichigo: . . .
Haku: Oh, for God sakes. Ichigo, I'm a guy.
Ichigo: . . . oh
Haku: Yeah, oh. So no Ichigo, no dates.
Ichigo: *cough*cough* All right then.
Narrator: Well, now for the final test, the special ability test. Where we will test Kenpachi Zaraki's Soul Powers, against Zabuza Momochi's Chakra attacks.
Yachiru: Kenny's Spiritual Pressure is more power then almost everyone else's in Soul Society. I've been around him long enough to see a lot of what he can do with it.
Yachiru then channeled her spiritual power (using the aid of a special device provided by the DW crew) to reach the level of Kenpachi. Immediately the ground turned into a crater. Yachiru then started swinging her sword. Wherever she swung it long scythes of energy flew out, carving deep trenches in the ground. Next a crew, fired various projectiles at her, put the power flowing through Yachiru rose like a shield and stopped them cold.
Yachiru: And that's just a taste of what my Kenny can do!
Haku: While I admit that such power is formidable, it is really nothing more then brute force given form. Nothing can be made from it aside from rudimentary force fields and uncontrollable energy scythes. But with Chakra, my masters power is limited only by his imagination.
Haku then demonstrated some of the techniques Zabuza was proficient in.
First Haku called up a thick mist, which caused the DW camera crew a lot of grief, due to difficulty filming the mist so that it "looked cool"
Then Haku created several clones made of surrounding water. Though they only had a tenth of their creators strength, they could make up for in with numbers.
The next technique was not really an attack, but it impressed the DW team none the less: Haku, as well as a few clones, surrounded the area in a giant prison of water. The technique could be done by an individual, but the more clones meant a bigger area of effect.
But it was the last two techniques that impressed them the most. No, not impressed, blew away. After a long string of hand seals, the water suddenly rose up as a large roaring dragon. It circled menacingly for a while, until a second string of seals turned the dragon into a raging maelstrom of watery chaos. By the time they were done, the area was soaked, and the judges had rendered their decision.
Dr. Dorian: While Kenpachi's Reishi does impress me, the sheer versatility of Zabuza's jutsu seem like they would come in handy in a fight. The final edge goes to Zabuza.
Edge: Zabuza Momochi
Narrator: Now that leaves only one test left . . .
Haku: But I thought that was the last test?
Narrator: On no Haku, there is one more . . . doctor?
Dr. Dorian (putting on a pair of latex gloves): Ready.
Narrator: Good. Crew
The camera crew, the security guards, even Ichigo and Yachiru all appear, blocking the exits, and circling Haku . . .
All: Ready!
Narrator: Now then, let the examination begin, and the mystery of Haku's gender be revealed -
Haku: I already told you -
All: Silence!
Narrator: Get him or her! Hold her / him down! Let the doctor through!
What begins is a struggle of epic proportions as the fate of Haku's gender neutrality hangs in the balance
Narrator: While they take care of that, Max Geiger will upload the data gathered from the tests into the battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studio, to simulate a battle to the death between these two warriors. To make sure that victory isn't snatched by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated 1000 times. Who will win in this battle of two of the most vicious sword wielders in all manga - dom? The fierce Captain Kenpachi Zaraki? Or the Ruthless Ex-Mist Ninja Zabuza Momochi? Reishi or Chakra? Which will reign supreme?
Durability Edge: Kenpachi Zaraki
Unarmed Edge: Zabuza Momochi
Sword Edge: Kenpachi Zaraki
Special Ability Edge: Zabuza Momchi's Chakra
(Two videos from Youtube showing off the badassness of these two warriors)
It's time to find out which warrior is truly the deadliest. Max hits the button on the computer, and suddenly the screen goes "Matrix" on us.
Kenpachi Zaraki walked through the woods. He had been walking for awhile, mostly because "Kenny" had a terrible sense of direction, and kept getting lost.
Soon the he walked into a clearing, with a large pond on the other side. As he walked, Kenpachi stopped, sensing something. The next moment he ducked as a large clever like sword spun overhead. The sword continued onward, slicing down several trees before burying itself in the wood of a particularly thick tree.
Then a thick, unnatural mist rolled in, obscuring everything. Zaraki frowned, this was annoying, how was he supposed to have a good fight if he couldn't see anything.
Deep in the mist, Zabuza, the demon of the mist, frowned as well. Normally being attacked followed by a mysterious mist would cause most people to be at least a little anxious. But this guy . . . Zabuza decided to send in some water clones, just to be safe.
Kenpachi was quickly growing bored of this tactic and was about to use his spiritual pressure to blast his enemy into the open when he felt it. The enemy was moving toward him. But something was off, there was more then one enemy, and they felt . . . different then the first. That was when he realized that while he had been thinking, they had surrounded him. Kenpachi was positively elated at the thought of fighting multiple strong opponents. Finally Kenpachi couldn't take it anymore, he had to know who he was fighting. And with that thought he released his already minimal hold on his spiritual pressure, releasing a powerful wave of energy.
The wave pushed back the mist, revealing five Zabuza clones, all poised to strike. Kenpachi blinked at the strange sight, having never seen a cloning technique before. That was when the clones all struck, the five cloned swords crashing into the Captain at five different spots, all meant to tear the giant of a man apart.
"Well, that was disappointing" Kenpachi thought, as the sound of dripping echoed across the silent clearing. But it was not blood that dripped, but water. As the last traces of the mist faded, it reveled an uncut, though perhaps slightly bruised, Kenpachi. At only a tenth of Zabuza's strength, the clones simply were not powerful enough to cut the Captain of Squad 11. And as with what happened to Ichigo during his first encounter with the battle mad Zaraki, they had only managed to hurt themselves, their palms dripping water in place of blood.
Deciding he'd seen enough of these things, Kenpachi unsheathed and swung his sword in one graceful swing, decapitating three clones in a single swing. He then turned and kicked the fourth in the chest, sending it flying into a tree. The last clone was taken care of by an elbow to the face. Kenpachi only raised an eyebrow as he enemies bodies turned to water. That was no fun in his mind. A battle was no fun with out bloodshed, and these things didn't bleed. Kenpachi turned back to the real Zabuza, who stood atop his sword. Zabuza frowned, it looked like this was going to require a more personal touch. He teleported away from the trees and summoned up a thicker, stronger mist. Deciding to try some psychological offense, Zabuza threw his voice in the mist and said: "8 choices"
Kenpachi frowned. The mist was back, and he was not able to locate Zabuza, even when he started talking.
"Liver, Lungs, Spine, Clavicle Vein . . . " Kenpachi was sure the voice was getting closer . . .
"Brain, Kidneys, Heart" Kenpachi had had enough of this, and responded to the voice, which seemed to be right in front of me, but which he still couldn't pinpoint.
"Stop wasting my time." He pulled back his haori and revealed his scar riddled chest.
"You could go for my throat, or for my gut, take out my eyeball if you want, or if you're lucky you might kill me in a single strike!" Kenpachi was really getting into it now.
"Just stop stalling and attack already!" He yelled into the mist.
Then he blinked and saw that Zabuza was right in front of him, already in mid-swing. The next instant, Kenpachi sported a large gash across his chest, a splash of blood hitting the ground.
Zabuza spun on his heel and hit Kenpachi again, this time in the side. But before he could cut to deeply the sword was stopped. Zabuza was surprised that the wound on Kenpachi had not deterred him at all. Kenpachi was now grinning madly even as blood flowed from the cut on his side down his hand. His hand which had incredibly enough, stopped Zabuza from completing his attack. Kenpachi grinned the grin of the insane "my turn" and unsheathed his own sword. Zabuza tried to jump back but that didn't stop him from getting a long deep scratch across chest.
Making sure the scratch wasn't fatal, Zabuza quickly raised his sword to block an overhead swing from the grinning Kenpachi. Zabuza's eyes widened as he felt the ground beneath his feet crack. He substituted himself with a water clone and appeared behind his opponents back, and dealt him a wicked blow. Kenpachi though, didn't seem to feel it, as he spun around and backhanded Momochi into a tree. Zabuza was pretty sure he had just cracked his shoulder bone. Time for a new strategy.
Zabuza did a few quick hand sighs and watched as twenty water clones appeared in a circle around Zaraki. They would keep him distracted long enough for him to try out a new plan. Zabuza took some of Haku's special healing salve from his pocket, and quickly applied some. He didn't want to bleed out while he took care of this next part.
Kenpachi was conflicted. He understood his enemy jumping back to apply a healing agent. He personally didn't use any in battle, but he knew others did, his third seat was a prime example. But now he was just standing there making hand gestures. What was that all about? Kenpachi suspected that it had something to do with all the clones that had popped up. Which must mean that whatever that guy was doing, it probably took awhile if the number of clones was anything to go by.
One of the Zabuza clones leaped back and tossed it's sword at Kenpachi. The water sword may not cut Zaraki, but the clone hoped it could at least knock him back. But the clone had miscalculated the throw. The blade turned one time to many before it reached the captain. This meant that it was the handle, not the blade that hit the distracted Kenny in the head. But when Kenpachi's head reeled back from the blow to his temple (inadvertently jerking his blade up through the face of a hapless Zabuza clone), all of the clones were surprised to see a large purple bruise. That's when the clones got an idea. They may not be able to slice this man-giant, but they could still use their massive, and massively heavy, swords to beat him to death!
Kenpachi grinned madly, even as the blunt end of the water clones swords slammed into him from behind, cracking two of his ribs. Now things were getting really interesting. The clones had figured out a way to hurt him, which was something Kenpachi had to applaud them for. Even if it didn't make bleed as much as he would like, it still kept the fight from being 100% one-sided.
Zabuza was now ready, sending a signal to the waiting clones, the next phase of his plan began.
Two water clones charged Kenpachi from both sides, one trying a wide angle swing, the other an overhead strike. Kenpachi first deflected the attack of and skewered the wide angle clone. Then he grabbed the second clones sword, ignoring the feeling of a broken thumb, and proceeded to push the sword through the clone. Unfortunately for Kenny, this kept his hands occupied long enough for a third clone, swinging his sword like a baseball bat, to smash Kenpachi right in the face, and send him sliding backwards.
Kenpachi felt his noise break, and felt magnificent blood pour down his face. When he opened his eyes, he saw that the clones had formed a complete circle around him. Behind the clones, the real Zabuza pulsed with power. Suddenly all of the clones formed a bunch of those weird hand signs, before reaching out into the air like they were grabbing something. Kenpachi didn't understand it, and to be honest, he didn't really want to. He figured he just go and smash the clones until they started acting normal and try to kill him again.
But when Kenpachi Zaraki went to run forward, he found that the water had risen over his feet and was keeping him from moving properly. That's when he realized that all the water around him was coming up around him, stopping at the ring of clones, and continuing up into a giant sphere. Just though the water Kenpachi could hear the clones speak in unison:
"Water Style: Water Prison Jutsu!"
Kenpachi frowned, now this was just lame! How was he supposed to have a good fight stuck in this thing? Kenpachi noted that it was starting to get hard to breath. Was that the guy's plan? Drown him? Well, he'd have no part of that thank you!
Zabuza frowned in concentration, he just needed a few more seconds. He had to admit, while it did cause concerns, he really wasn't surprised when the giant started walking toward him. Even though it should have been impossible to move under that much water, the guy was doing it, and boy did he look annoyed. As Zabuza completed the last hand seal, he chuckled inwardly to himself. The guy could be annoyed all he wanted, in a few moments it wouldn't matter in the least . . .
"Water Style: Water Dragon Jutsu!"
Kenpachi had to admit, what happened next surprised even him. The water behind his opponent suddenly surged up and about, before it suddenly took shape. The shape was that of a large dragon, which circled Zabuza protectively before charging at Kenpachi head on. The Dragon slammed in to the bubble with the force of a bullet train before surging skyward. The clones were liquified before their watery bodies were added to the dragon's mass.
Inside Kenpachi was feeling particularly giddy. So this guy was really just going all out, huh? Well he'd have to return the favor then. With that Kenpachi reached up, and removed his eye-patch.
Zabuza knew something was wrong when the water dragon shuddered. Suddenly he found the beast getting more and more difficult to keep stable. He had planned to have the dragon fly high into the sky before having it explode, but now he didn't think he'd be able to control it that long. Instead, he willed the dragon to U-Turn in mid-air, and shoot strait toward the ground. The dragon smashed into the earth, raising a large dust cloud of dust. And for a moment all was calm.
The next moment Zabuza had to doge to the side as a wave of energy sliced up the earth he had stood not a second before. Then Kenpachi came flying out of the smoke, sword poised to strike. He was missing his eye-patch, Zabuza noted briefly as he raised his sword to defend. When the swords collided, Zabuza eyes widened in shock as the ground cracked and his knees buckled, under the force, and he was sure his sword cracked just a bit. He had no time to react as Kenpachi's fist shot out and smashed into his face. He flew backwards, smashing into a tree. He rolled out of the way as another one of those weird energy shock-waves cut the tree in half. Another instant later and Kenpachi was almost on top of him.
Zabuza was force to parry a vicious jab, which punched out the back of the tree. The next jab came, and Zabuza was able to catch the blade with the hole in his sword, twist it and send Kenpachi's sword spinning out of his hands. Kenpachi didn't take kindly to that, grabbing hold of the Demon of the Mist's sword, he yanked it away and flung it over by his sword. It was now time of a battle of fists. He punched Kenpachi in the stomach, causing him to double over, but also nearly breaking Zabuza's hand. He followed with an uppercut, and an upward knee jab. Zabuza jumped back and immediately began doing hand seals for his most powerful technique.
Kenpachi frowned, there were those hand gestures again. He had learned that when ever the guy did that, crazy shit tended to follow. But Kenpachi had had enough of the weird tricks, he just wanted a straight up fight, and since this guy had knocked his sword away, things got personal. Kenpachi grabbed Zabuza by the shoulders, and head-butted him right in the nose. He was rewarded by the pleasing sound of breaking cartilage, as Zabuza went stumbling back. Kenpachi went to deliver a haymaker, but Zabuza ducked, turned, and delivered a powerful donkey-kick to Kenpachi's jaw. All while performing his hand-seals.
Kenpachi grabbed the leg before Zabuza could pull back, pulled him up into the air and slammed him on the ground, before throwing him across the clearing. Then Kenpachi picked up his sword and started walking toward the face down Zabuza.
"Pick up your sword, kid, and let's end this." Kenpachi said.
"Your wrong" Zabuza said, his hands slowly moving through the last few seals, Kenpachi only a few feet from him. "It's already over" With that his hands moved to the final seal, and releasing a pulse of chakra. With that he called out the name of his technique:
"Water Style: Water Vortex Jutsu!"
The water around the warriors feet spun up in front of Zabuza, Kenpachi trying to late to attack, as the water formed into a concentrated maelstrom that launched itself at Kenpachi, striking him dead in the chest. The water rocketed Kenpachi back into the trees, and through them. He bounced off several of the dense trees that made up the forest, striking him again and again. When the water finally calmed down, his body slid down into the clearing, still clutching his sword. Zabuza walked up to the body, smirking, "I knew I'd win." He said, breathing heavily from his injuries, just as he turned to leave, he heard something that froze him in place:
"Who says it's over? the voice of Kenpachi spoke, rising from the water around him. Zabuza looked on in shock, there was no way he should have gotten up after that. And after all those jutsu in such rapid succession, he didn't think he could take much more.
Kenpachi leapt to his feet and stabbed at Zabuza. Zabuza raised his sword as a shield, but to his shock and horror, the blade pierced his easily, before puncturing a hole through him. When the blade withdrew, he sliced Kenpachi back, but it didn't seem to phase him nearly as much. Kenpachi leapt back and grinned "You seem to be on your last legs, what's say we make this last attack the final blow?"
Zabuza tore the bandages from his face, allowing him to speak easier "You're not looking to hot yourself their pal, but sure I'm ready to end this!"
Kenpachi just grinned, before he began to gather his energy for the final blow. Zabuza did the same with his chakra, the energy glowing vibrantly around him.
The two sword-swingers charged each other, their energy flowing around them. And in the height of battle the two could almost make out an image in the aura of their adversary. Zabuza saw a laughing skull made of sulfurous yellow reishi, while Kenpachi saw a demon with large curved horns made of black chakra imposed over Zabuza.
The two warriors rushed past each other dealing their most powerful sword attacks. They ended up past each other, just standing, waiting for the other to fall.
Suddenly a deep wound appeared from Kenpachi's right shoulder to his left thigh. Kenpachi didn't grunt, even as he fell to one knee.
Zabuza sighed, then his own wound going from the right shoulder to the left thigh opened up, and a fountain of blood spilt from the wound. His eyes rolled back in his head, and he fell to the ground.
When he could stand, Kenpachi walked over to him, just to make sure. It was true, Zabuza Momochi, Demon of the Hidden Mist, had fallen.
The rush of battle and victory came to Kenpachi all at once, and he reared his head back in a roar of victory!
Winner: Kenpachi Zaraki!
Narrator: In this epic battle of sword wielders, it was the nigh-indestructible Kenpachi Zaraki that came out on top.
Ichigo: Having faced him myself, I know how tough Kenpachi is, and it doesn't matter if it's Reishi or Chakra, Kenpachi wouldn't lose to someone like this Zabuza guy.
Yachiru: Yeah! Kenny Won! It's too bad it's just a game, I bet Kenpachi would love to fight this guy for real! I wonder if his soul went to Soul Society when he died?
Narrator: On another note, doctor, what are the results? You're the only one who saw, so please enlighten us.
Dr. Dorian: Yes, well the results to the question of Haku's gender are . . .
At that moment a mirror appeared behind the doctor. Haku performed a quick set of hand seals and slammed them into the back of the doctors skull. He then jabbed him in the neck with a senbon needle, knocking him out.
Haku: He'll be fine, but he won't remember anything. As for the result of the fight . . . While I am disappointed, I know that their are plenty of others Zabuza-sama could beat, so there is no reason to get down over the one he couldn't.
And with that he stepped back into the mirror and disappeared.
We see Kenpachi standing over the body of Zabuza, before he uses his sword to open up a portal back to Soul Society.
The End.
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