Deadliest Warrior, Chapter 32: Rajput vs. Pirate
Narrator:
Rajput; India's menacing martial arts master, who defeated enemies with a diabolical arsenal designed to kill. Last time, that arsenal came in handy for when the Rajput found himself in a fight to the death with an Aztec Jaguar.
(We see the Rajput decapitate the Aztec with a Chakram).
Narrator:
Pirate, a murderess killer of the high sea. Last time, the Pirate found himself fighting for his life when he plundered gold on Samurai territory. But with guns a blazing, he made off with his booty.
(We see the Pirate lob a Grenado, which explodes and kills a Samurai).
WHO IS DEADLIEST?
To find out, our world class fighters are testing histories most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is....THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!
Rajput
Height: 5' 6"
Weight: 145 LBS
Year: 900 AD
Armor: Leather & Chain Mail
Loyalty: Country and Kinsmen
Pirate
Heigh: 5' 10"
Weigh: 170 LBS
Year: 17th Century
Armor: None
Loyalty: Money
Narrator: Here in the Fight Club, we take five weapons used by India's greatest fighter: The Rajput
Katar
Chakram
Tabar
Khanda
Aara
Narrator: and then test them against the tools of the nefarious scourge of the sea: The Pirate
Grenado
Flintlock Pistol
Blunderbuss
Cutlass
Boarding Axe
Narrator: For our first test, the two warriors take aim with their long range weapons: The Rajput's Chakram against the Pirate's Flintlock Pistol.
Max: For this test, we have to ask ourselves: Will the bullet pierce the leather and chain mail?
Geoff: Well, the leather, probably, but the chain-mail? I'm not sure. Frankly, I think the Pistol has more cons then pros.
Dr. Dorian: True, and let's look at the Chakram. It has a much greater range, and unlike the Pistol, cannot misfire.
Geoff: Exactly, even if the Flintlock can pierce the chain mail, it's just not enough compared to the Chakram.
Max: Alright, looks like this time, the more modern weapon loses. Long Range Edge goes to the Chakram.
Edge: Rajput
Narrator: Now it's time for the second test, the warriors get closer, as they bring out their mid range weaponry: The Pirate's Blunderbuss against the Rajput's Tabar.
Max: Sweet, a new weapon. Well, before we can make any judgments, let's test it out!
 |
| Yes, Lets |
Fred walked into the Fight Club, having been on break for quite a while. He picked up the Tabar, examining the large weapon. It was about the size of the Halberd, but with a large Axe head on top. Weighing it in his hands, he approached his gel torso target.
With one mighty swing, he plunged the Tabar earthward, and split the gel dummy in two.
Not to be outdone, Bob, who had entered just after Fred, had quickly picked up his Blunderbuss, and prepared it for firing. Taking aim at his dummy, which was decked out in Rajput armor. Making sure he was holding it properly, he fired the large weapon.
The barrage of bullets tore through the chain-mail, puncturing a multitude of tiny holes in the body.
Dr. Dorian: Looking at the damage here, I know that both of these are kill shots.
Geoff: Gee, thanks Doc. Well, I have to pick the Blunderbuss for this, it has greater range then the Tabar.
Max: I guess. Even though the Tabar is impressive, it seems like by the time either warrior is in range to use their weapons, the Blunderbuss would kill first. Even though the Tabar doesn't ever misfire.
Geoff: Yeah yeah, cry me a river. Your just mad that the new weapon didn't win an edge. Mid Range edge to the Blunderbuss.
Edge: Pirate
Narrator: Next, the third test, where the warriors get up close and personal with their short range weapons: The Rajput Khanda and the Pirate Cutlass.
Max: Now this is a clear edge. The Khanda is a much more powerful blade, and is being used against an unarmored opponent. The Cutlass is going up against chain mail, armor specifically designed against slashing weapons. While the Cutlass could try stabbing, that's not what it was made for.
Geoff: Your right, in the end, the Khanda is just a better blade.
Dr. Dorian: So we're all in agreement; the short range edge goes to the Khanda.
Edge: Rajput
Narrator: We're nearing the end now, with only two tests to go. Now our warriors will showcase their special weapons: The Pirate Grenado against the Rajput Katar.
Max: Grenado.
Geoff: Grenado?
Max: Grenado.
Geoff: Alright, Grenado.
Dr. Dorian: Yes, for sheer fire power alone, the Grenado is more then capable of blasting the Rajput off his feet. While the Katar are deadly, they just aren't as satisfying by comparison. Edge to the Grenado.
Edge: Pirate
Narrator: For the final test, our warriors bring out a final set of weapons. Their not special, just sort of…. unusual…..: The Rajput Aara, and the Pirate Boarding Axe.
Max: I don't think the Boarding Axe can pierce the Rajput's armor.
Geoff: Maybe, but as we saw in testing, the Aara isn't actually lethal at all.
Dr. Dorian: Well, I guess that since both of these weapons do a pretty poor job of causing fatal injuries, we'll just have to declare this portion a tie.
Edge: Tie
Narrator: With all the testing complete, Max Geiger uploads the data gathered from the tests into the battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studio, to simulate a battle to the death between these two warriors. To make sure that victory isn't snatched by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated 1000 times. Who will win in this battle of two very different warriors? The fearsome Rajput, and his versatile arsenal of death? Or the Pirate, the ruthless seafarer, who brings black powder weapons into the equation?
Close Range Edge: Rajput's Khanda
Mid Range Edge: Pirate's Blunderbuss
Long Range Edge: Rajput's Chakram
Special Weapon Edge: Pirate's Grenado
Unusual Weapon Edge: Tie between Aara and Boarding Axe
It's time to find out which warrior is truly the deadliest. Max hits the button on the computer, and suddenly the screen goes "Matrix" on us.
This fight takes place near a sea port in India. The area is nearly deserted, with few people walking through the streets. Over the last few weeks, a band of Pirates has been raiding towns near the waterfront. For this reason, the local government has sent five Rajput warriors to protect this small town. One day, five Pirates arrive, and begin to trash up the place. The villagers flee, but the Rajput stay, eager to put a stop to this once and for all.
One Pirate happily loads a sack with gold. He was there with four others (one of them his captain) to load up on supplies and loot for the next big voyage. Hearing shouts, he turned and expected to see more frightened villagers. Instead, he saw Rajput soldiers running towards him and the others. Calling out, he pulled a Flintlock Pistol from his belt and fired, but at this distance his aim was so sloppy he didn't hit anything but a fruit stand to his target's left.
Said target though had much better aim. This was proved when the Rajput hurled his deadly Chakram with enough force to nearly split the Pirate's head in two. It didn't, but it was enough to kill the Pirate before he could finish another thought.
Seeing their comrade die like that instantly earned the Rajputs the Pirate's ire. Now: It. Was. On!
Rajput: 5
Pirate: 4
The Pirates split, one reaching into his pouch for a Grenado. One of the Rajputs saw him do this, and prepared to hurl a Chakram at the rapscallion. But the Pirates captain had much better aim then his comrades, and the Rajputs were much closer. This meant that when he shot of his Flintlock, the bullet went right through the Rajput's skull.
Rajput: 4
Pirate: 4
A Pirate ran down a side street, a Rajput wielding a Tabar close behind. The Rajput swung, and knocked the Pirate's hat off. The Pirate turned slightly and fired a pistol in a panic, but if flew harmlessly passed the Indian.
Reaching a dead end, the Pirate turned, taking his Blunderbuss off his belt. As he did, he immediately had to duck and roll to avoid having his head removed. The Tabar buried itself in the wood of a stall, and before the Rajput could pull it out, the Pirate stood, gun at the read. At such close distance, there was no way he could miss.
'Click'
The Blunderbuss clicked sadly as it failed to fire its contents. In the second it took to register what had just happened, the Rajput had freed the Tabar, and was already in mid swing.
The Pirate grunted as the blade of the ax-like weapon buried itself deeply in his side. When the blade was pulled back (along with extracting a great deal of his intestines), he gave a great shuddering gasp, then died.
Rajput: 4
Pirate: 3
Two Rajputs chased the Pirate captain down the street of the semi-abandoned town. The Pirate suddenly turned and ran into an empty building, slamming the door and barring it behind him.
The Rajput hammered on the door, the old wood splintering under their assault. Soon, the door broke under their assault and they charged in. They saw the Pirate leap out the window on the opposite side of the room, and a heard a hissing noise. Looking down, they saw a large Grenado placed on the ground before them.
They turned to run, but it was too late. The bomb burst, sending shrapnel in all direction as the explosion knocked both Rajput's away. One Rajput was killed from the force of the explosion, the other from the shards that peppered his body.
Rajput: 2
Pirate: 3
Elsewhere, a Pirate found himself in a dead end, with the only way out blocked by a Rajput wielding a Khanda. Seeing no way out, the Pirate drew his Cutlass, and prepared for battle.
The two duel back and forth, the lighter Cutlass moving quickly but unable to get passed the slower, heavier Khanda. The Pirate manages to leave some light cuts on the Rajput's hands, but only after the Rajput cuts the Pirate's jacket. It seems that they are at a stalemate.
Finally, the Pirate manages to sidestep the Rajput, and slices at his midsection. Sadly, the Cutlass just slides across the chain mail armor, doing little damage. Before the Pirate can correct his mistake, the hits him in the side, knocking him to the ground. He tries to get up, but the Rajput brings the Khanda down like an executioner's axe, and buries in the Pirate's back.
Rajput: 2
Pirate: 2
Tired, the Rajput walks out of the ally into the street. As he walks down past several abandoned stalls, he fails to notice a Pirate hiding behind one. The Pirate, not wanting to engage the Rajput in physical combat after what he'd just seen, slowly crept up behind the Indian man. Taking the Boarding Axe from his belt.
Closing the distance, he charges the last few feet. The Rajput hears him, but has no time to react as the Boarding Axe is buried int the back of his neck, severing his spine and dropping him like a sack of laundry. He collapses, unable to move at all, and quickly bleeds out on the ground.
Rajput: 1
Pirate: 2
Hearing a roar of fury, the Pirate turns to see the last Rajput coming at him with Katar's drawn. The Pirate panics and hurls his Boarding Axe like a throwing axe, only to see the Rajput easily bat it aside.
The Pirate starts to run, desperately tugging Flintlock Pistols from his belt. He turns as he runs to fire over his shoulder at his pursuer, but fear and the rapid movement made the already iffy shots from the Pistol even worse, and most of the shots flew harmlessly past. By sheer luck though, the Pirate did manage to hit the Rajput's left ear. It wasn't fatal, and if anything it just seemed to make him even angrier, but it was still a decent shot.
Finally, the Pirate realizes he can run no more, and pulls out his Cutlass. The Rajput catches up, and the Pirate ducks under the first jab to make a sweeping slice at the Rajput's knees. It does some damage, but the Rajput jerks his one of his knees up and hits the Pirate in the chin, sending him stumbling back.
The Rajput stabs at the thief, but the Pirate manages to catch it with his sword's blade. Sadly, that does nothing to slow the other Katar, which enters in the Pirate's chest. The Pirate gasps and coughs, his life blood staining his shirt, but that is not noticed by the Rajput who takes the time to stab the Pirate a second and third time; before finally tossing the body away.
Rajput: 1
Pirate: 1
The battle might have ended right there. The Rajput did not see the Pirate captain standing nearby, Blunderbuss at the ready (one of the two he had left). The Pirate aimed, and without a second thought, pulled the trigger.
Click. Bugger.
That single click gave away his position, and the Rajput turned and saw him. Readying his Katars, he charged the Pirate, who turned and fled, as was his nature.
But he surprised the Rajput when instead of actually fleeing, he grabbed the bag which contained his supplies and treasure and hurled it at the Rajput. The Rajput instinctively put his arms up, and grunted as the heavy bag slammed into him. It also kept him from attacking as the Pirate ran forward and kicked the Rajput right in the stomach, sending him stumbling back. The Pirate was now wielding a Cutlass in one hand, and a Boarding Axe in the other.
He charged the Rajput, ready to slice him to bits. But the Indian wasn't going down without a fight. He slashed his Katars at the Pirate's face, knocking off his hat and tracing a thin but bloody line across his forehead. The Pirate slashed at the Rajput's chest, but the blade didn't damage the chain mail. The Rajput stabbed at the Pirate, piercing both his coat and his left shoulder, making the sea farer grunt in pain. The Pirate tried to return the favor, but had his blade caught i the prongs of the Katar.
The Rajput went to disarm the Pirate with a twist of the wrist, when a sharp, unbearable pain shot through his other wrist. Looking down, he saw that the pirate had stabbed his wrist with the point of the Boarding Axe, making him drop the Katar in that hand. The Rajput's eyes narrowed, and he twisted the other Katar, sending the Cutlass flipping through the air.
The Pirate seeing he would never win with just his Boarding Axe, tried to turn and run. But as he did, the Rajput drove the Katar into his back, creating a painful, though non-lethal, wound. Seeing the Pirate stumbling away, and not feeling like chasing him down, the Rajput produced his Aara. He slashed the whip-like weapon, striking the Pirate across the back. When that failed to produce the proper results, he swept low with it, catching the fleeing Pirate's ankle with it, sending him tumbling, landing on his own supply bag.
The Rajput stabbed downward, looking to end this already drawn out fight. But the Pirate rolled over at the last minute and used the bag as a shield. Whatever was inside was enough to protect the Pirate, and frustrate the Rajput. The warrior pulled back, taking the bag with him as he tried to get it off his weapon.
When he did though, he heard the by now familiar sound of a gun being cocked. Looking down, he saw himself facing the business end of the Pirate's last Blunderbuss. Before he could so much as speak a single word, the Pirate blasted the Rajput off him with a thunderous boom. The Rajput was thrown back, hitting the ground hard before laying still.
Shakily, the Pirate managed to stand, wincing at the stab in his back. Limping over to the Rajput, the Pirate saw he was indeed dead. Filled with the kind of glee that only comes from knowing you were alive and your opponent is dead, the Pirate threw back his head and laughed!
Winner: Pirate
Pirate: 524
Blunderbuss: 300
Grenado: 165
Cutlass: 42
Flintlock Pistol: 14
Boarding Axe: 3
Rajput: 476
Tabar: 180
Khanda: 166
Katar: 100
Chakram: 30
Aara: 0
Narrator: In this epic battle of primitive black powder versus steel, it was the Pirate that managed to squeak out a victory. While his gunpowder weapons such as the Grenado and Blunderbuss scored amazingly well in the simulation, all his other weapons did fairly poorly compared to the Rajput's weapon.
Geoff: That should show just what kind of game changer Black Powder really was; even the primitive kind. It may not have always worked, but when it did, it worked very well. While I appreciate the deadly capacity of the Rajput's weapons, the Pirate's just had more lethal power that could be used from a greater range, and thus farther away from the Rajput's comfortable kill zone.
We see the Pirate back with the rest of his crew on his ship. They have a brief moment of silence to honor the dead, the begin to count the booty they've 'earned'. Amongst their stolen treasures are the weapons and armor stolen off the bodies of the Rajput. As far as the Pirate's concerned, they won't be needing them anymore.
The End.
