Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Persian Immortal vs. Shaolin Monk

Disclaimer: I don't own Deadliest Warrior; but I wish I did.

Deadliest Warrior, Chapter 22: Persian Immortal vs. Shaolin Monk

A Persian Immortal; the precision killer in a massive war machine who forged the largest empire the middle east has ever seen.
(We see thousands of Persians marching toward an enemy stronghold).

A shaolin Monk, the ultimate kung fu killing machine from China. 
(We see a group of monks training and meditating at their temple).

                                                   WHO IS DEADLIEST?
To find out, our world class fighters are testing histories most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is....THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!

Persian Immortal
Year: 500 BC
Height: 5' 8"
Weight: 160 LBS
Armor: Bronze Scale & Wicker Shield

Shaolin Monk
Height: 5' 7"
Weight: 145 LBS
Armor: None
Gear: 5 LBS

Narrator:  Here in the Fight Club, we take four weapons used by fearsome conquerors, the Persian Immortals:

Bow & Arrow
Chariot Scythe

Narrator: and pit them the weapons used by Chinese's master of martial arts, the Shaolin Monk:

Twin Hooks
Emei Piercers
Whip Chain

Narrator: For the first test, our warriors battle it out at mid range with: the Persian Immortal's Spear and the Shaolin Monk's Staff.

Fred got in the chariot, holding the Spear loosely in his hand. His test was to ride around and stab a Monk dummy. Simple.

Fred rode off at top speed, aiming the lance at the dummy's chest. Just as he was about to pass, he stabbed the right in the heart, leaving a large, bleeding puncture wound. But he wasn't done yet. Hopping off of his chariot, he took the Spear, aimed, and hurled it through the dummy's stomach.

Dr. Dorian: This weapon is wickedly dangerous. It can be wielded at various speeds at different ranges. I'm curious how the Monk will overcome that.

Bob was next, surrounded by ceramic pots. Twirling the staff in his hand he went to work on the pots. He struck out with the staff and smashed pots left and right. Slow-motion shots revealed that the Staff was definitely striking with a lot of force.

Dr. Dorian: While that was a very impressive display of martial arts prowess, it still feels somewhat lacking, when we compare it to the Spear. I doubt the Staff will have the same affect on a body wrapped up in Persian Armor. On the other hand, the Spear can kill in a single shot if need be. Considering these factors, the mid range edge goes to the Spear.

Edge: Persian Immortal

Narrator: The second test, our warriors will test out a weapon unique to them: The Shaolin's Whip Chain, against the Persian's Chariot Scythe.

Bob faced five hanging balls, each filled with liquid. Bob twirled his Chain, standing the maximum distance the chain would allow. Suddenly he lashed out with the chain, the pointed end bursting the spheres one by one, spilling there contents across the lab floor.

Fred, who had gone back to his Chariot after attaching the Scythes, charged towards his target: a pig hanging to the side of the track. With the horses charging at full speed he quickly reached his prey. The scythe hit the pig one moment, the next the pig was sent flying, its body covered in scraps. But when the doctor examined the pig, he found that only some of the cuts may qualify as fatal.

Dr. Dorian: Now here we have to vastly different weapons. The Whip Chain is a very versatile weapon, but has only a limited range in which it can be considered effective. The Chariot Scythe on the other hand, is not versatile. The damage it deals is not always fatal, it isn't that difficult to avoid, and it is reliant on the Chariot to do any damage. For these reasons, I give the special weapon edge to the Whip Chain.

Edge: Shaolin Monk

Narrator: For the third test, our warriors lock blades as they enter into Close Quarters Combat: The Immortal's Sagaris and the Monk's Twin Hook Swords.

Fred took his Sagaris and walked toward his target. Since the Monk had no real armor to speak of, this should be pretty easy. His fist blow buried the blade deep into the brain and shattered the skull. The second effectively gutted the Monk, his robe offering no protection from the fierce swing.

Bob was next, looking at his own Persian target. His target was wearing the Bronze Scale of the Immortal and holding a wicker shield, a tuff obstacle to be sure. His first blow ripped through the flimsy wicker shield, and Bob pushed past it no problem. Now came the actual armor. His first swing went wide, and buried into the body's side, cutting deep. With his other hand he swung low, but his Hook glanced off of the armor. Then he twisted the swords and stabbed with their sharpened ends. This actually made a puncture, but there was no telling how deep. The other point stabbed the neck, which yielded precious blood. Next came the finisher: Bob put the two Hooks together, doubling their range, and spun them. When they came into contact with the Bronze armor they glanced off, forcing Bob to grab them before they fell away. The second spin was more rewarding, slicing a deep cut in the Immortal's neck. Finished Bob stepped back and waited to be judged.

Dr. Dorian: This is a very hard call. While the Sagaris has an easier target, it seems so one dimensional. Don't get me wrong, it works; but compare it to the Hook Swords. They have multiple ways to cut, and are just as deadly when hooked together. And while it may just come down to skill, I personally have to give the close range edge to the Twin Hooks for versatility.

Edge: Shaolin Monk

Narrator: For the final test, we try something a little different, as we compare our combatants final weapons: The Shaolin Monk's Emei Piercers and the Persian Immortal's Bow & Arrow.

Fred steadied himself, drawing back the bowstring and aiming his arrow. He took a breath and fired, the arrow flying through the air, and striking his target dummy right in the forehead. Fred shot two more arrows: one striking the throat, the last hitting the heart. Then he fired a few shots while riding in his Chariot. And while his accuracy did go down, it was still a little impressive to the judges.

Bob was next, strapping on some Emei Piercers. The rest of the crew had taken a step back, as everyone was familiar with what happened when Bob tested these types of weapons. And they were not disappointed. The first thing Bob did was gouge out the eyes of his dummy before stabbing anywhere he could. However, the Bronze armor proved to be a bit of a deterrent, and Bob found it nigh-impossible to stab through it.

Dr. Dorian: This is another one of those weird weapons match-ups we get from time to time. This is a case of comparing an extreme close range weapon to a long range weapon. This might be a little more even if armor wasn't involved, but the fact is, it is. Even with decreased accuracy, the Bow & Arrows will have much less time killing the Monk then the Monk will with his Piercers. Also, when put into the simulation, as the two warriors approach each other, we'll start seeing hits from the bow, long before he see any from the Emei. It just may be a case of a bad match-up, but this "X" Factor edge goes to the Bow & Arrow.

Edge: Persian Immortal

Narrator: With all the testing complete, Max Geiger uploads the data gathered from the tests into the battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studio, to simulate a battle to the death between these two warriors. To make sure that victory isn't snatched by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated 1000 times. Who will win in this battle of opposites? The Persian Immortal, a member of an army that brought nations to their knees? Or the Shaolin Monk, a pacifist Ku Fu Killing machine who only kills in self defense? Fierce invader? Or Peaceful defender?

Short Range Edge: Shaolin Monk's Twin Hooks

Mid Range Edge: Persian Immortal's Spear

Special Weapon Edge: Shaolin Monk's Whip Chain

"X" Factor Edge: Persian Immortal's Bow & Arrow

It's time to find out which warrior is truly the deadliest. Max hits the button on the computer, and suddenly the screen goes "Matrix" on us.

This fight takes place just outside a Shaolin Monastery. A Persian Immortal rides up to it in his Chariot. At the entrance way stands the Head Monk. He has heard of these Persians, and what they do. And he has no intention of allowing on entrance. The Persian stops his Chariot and looks at the Monk. The Monk stares back arms folded. Then the Persian snaps his reigns and the battle is one.

As the Persian rides toward him, the Monk takes out the Whip Chain hidden in his sleeve and begins to twirl it. Just as the Chariot reaches him the Monk moves aside (taking care to avoid the Chariot Scythe spinning past) and lashes out with his Whip. The Whip hits the back of the Persian, but doesn't do much. The Persian, taking out his Bow & Arrow, wheels around for another pass. This Time as he rides toward him, he takes a few shots at him. The Monk doges most of the arrows, though one nicks his shoulder. Just as he is almost parallel to the monk he fires on last shot. The Monk ducks, before leaping over the Scythe. This time, he is directly behind the Persian. Before the Immortal gets to far, he Whips the chain again, and this time manages to wrap it around his enemies leg. Pulling with all his strength, the monk succeeds in pulling the Persian off of his Chariot.

The Persian stands, holding the Spear he had grabbed before his fall closely. As soon as he gets up, the Shaolin attacks again, striking out with his Chain. However, the when the chain goes out, it wraps around the Persian Spear. With a simple jerk, the Immortal yanks the Whip Chain from the Monk's hands. Now disarmed, the Monk makes a dash for a hidden weapons catch for some spare armaments. However, the Persian is not for behind.

Making it to the catch, the Monk takes a pair of Hook Swords and a Staff from it, just as the Immortal catches up. Tossing the swords down, the Monk uses his Staff to deflect a strike from the Spear. The two warriors then begin trading blows with each other, each seeking an opportunity to strike a powerful blow.

For the Monk, this came when he stopped a powerful overhead strike. Charging inside the Persian's guard, he struck his enemies chest with his Staff. The Persian grunted in slight pain, but the Monk would not relent. Attacking again and again, he backed the Persian into a tree, raining countless blows on his foe. When the Persian's back hit the tree, the Monk spun a full 360 degrees to end the fight. But at that moment, the Persian lashed out with his Spear, the sharpened metal point meeting the wooden, and splintering the Staff in two.

Stabbing outward, the Persian caught the Monk in the side, just as the Monk turned back to run. The Monk winced at his injury, but did not stop. He reached his Twin Hooks just as the Persian swiped his legs out from under him. He rolled into a recovery, and raised one swords in time to stop the Spear from shoulder. He lashed out with his other Hook, but it scrapped off of the Persian's armor. Standing, he tried to bring his Hooks down, taking off the Persian's arms, but the Persian blocked with his Spear. This turned out to be a bad move, as the Shaolin Monk launched a kick at the Immortal's armored chest. The blow sent him stumbling back, and made him drop the Spear still hooked in the Monk's swords.

Trying to go for the finishing blow, the Monk looped his Twin Hooks together and spun around, the blade whistling through the air. But again, the blade merely scrapped off his opponent's armor, bouncing it off like it was nothing. Emboldened by this, the Persian took out his Sagaris and charged at the Monk; and managed a deep cut to the Monk's arm. The Monk countered by using his other arm to stab his enemies side with his Hook Swords pointed end. Grunting in pain, the Persian swung his Sagaris at the Monk, only for it to get caught in the Hook Sword. But using his other hand, the Immortal grabbed the Monk by the neck, and threw him backwards. The Monk slammed into the ground, one of his Twin Hooks falling out of reach.

Before he could stand, the Persian was standing on his chest with one foot, the other stomping down on the hand still holding a sword. But the Persian never noticed the Monk slipping something from under his sleeve into his empty hand. When the Persian went to bury his Sagaris in the Monk's head, the Monk took his hidden Emei Piercer and stabbed the Persian in the leg.

The Persian cried out at the unexpected pain, and took a step back. The Monk stabbed upward, but his Piercer didn't penetrate the Persian's armor. The Persian swung his weapon furiously, but the Monk reached down, grabbed his lost Hook Sword, and swung it up to meet him. The blades met in a stalemate; until the Shaolin Monk brought up his second Hook and cleaved the Immortal's arm off at the elbow. The Persian cried out in horror, before trying to attack the Monk with his bare hands. Reacting quickly, the Monk sliced outwards with his Twin Hooks, the bladed hooks catching and separating the Persian's legs from the rest of his body. The Persian's body crashed to the ground, swearing profusely. The Monk stood up, looking at the body that cried out in pain before him. He had not wished to cause such suffering. Deciding to end the poor creatures suffering, he crossed his Twin Hooks in an X formation, with the Persian Immortal's head in between the curved hooks. Then, in one swift motion, the Shaolin Monk separated the so-called Immortal's head from his body.

As the headless body slouched to the ground, it's crimson fluid staining the walk-way and nearby grass; the Monk bowed his head and offered a quick prayer to his fallen enemy. After that, he turned and made his way back to the Monastery, to inform his brothers that the threat had passed.

Winner: Shaolin Monk!

Shaolin Monk: 502

Twin Hooks: 300

Whip Chain: 129

Emei Piercers: 38

Staff: 35

Persian Immortal: 498

Spear: 200

Bow & Arrow: 130

Sagaris: 108

Chariot Scythe: 60

Narrator: In this battle of near polar opposites, it was the Shaolin Monk who proved himself in this battle. He scored most of his kills thanks to the Whip Chain and Twin Hooks, which scored over half of kills by itself. The Persian Immortal didn't fare too poorly, with a score of 498, making this match almost to close to call!

Dr. Dorian: Well, I am surprised. I thought that the Persian Immortal weapons and armor would be too much for the Shaolin Monk to overcome. I guess armor isn't everything, and while the Monk may lack power in some of his weapons; he makes up for it with incredible technique and skill.

We see the Head Shaolin Monk back at the Temple. His fellow monks had arranged for the Persian to be buried in a nearby grave site. His horses had been taken in to be cared for. His weapons and armor were added to the Temple armory. They would be used so that Monks might later use them, in defense of any who might seek to harm them or their Temple.

The End.


  1. Another great fight as usual :D

    Awesome battle but the Monk wins the day, which is who I was rooting for in this one :)

    Hey, have you thought of using this guy in one of your matches? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKsequazoIc&feature=results_video&playnext=1&list=PLE084797BD7557E9C


    Master of the Boot

  2. I will admit, I hadn't thought of using Jet Li before. But looking at that video, I might have to give him some serious consideration. But who to put him against...

  3. hey, scarecrowsmainfan, shouldn't the persian immortal won the match? I mean, sure the shaolin monk had the hook swords, but I don't think that the whip chain and the hook swords wouldn't get that many kills. Also, the chariot scythe and the whip chain should have been even since both don't do any damage what so ever and come one, bow and arrow vs emei piercers? Really???

    1. I mean, you could of at least put some long range weapon for the shaolin monks and a shorter short range weapon for the persian immortal.