Spartan vs. Musketeer

Disclaimer: I don't own Deadliest Warrior; but I wish I did.

Deadliest Warrior, Chapter 16: Spartan vs. Musketeer

Narrator:
The Spartan; the battlefield butcher from ancient Greece.
(We see 300 Spartans forming a shield wall).

Narrator:
Musketeers; the king's ruthless personal guard, and fierce defenders of France's borders.
(We see a Musketeer pierce an enemies chest with his Rapier).

                                                          WHO IS DEADLIEST?
To find out, our world class fighters are testing histories most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is....THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!

Spartan:
Height: 5' 8"
Weight: 165 LBS
Armor: Bronze
Gear: 60 LBS

French Musketeer
1622 - 1776
Height: 5' 9"
Weight: 160 LBS
Armor: Steel Cuirass

Narrator:  Here in the Fight Club, we take four weapons used by the ancient Spartan warriors:

Spear
Javelin
Short Sword
Shield

Narrator: And see how they compete when put up against the tools of the trade of the King's personal guard, the French Musketeer:

Wheel Lock Pistol
Flintlock Musket
Rapier & Main Gauche
Grenade

Narrator: The battle begins with the two warriors striking hard and fast with their mid range weapons: The Spartan Spear, and The Musketeer's Wheel Lock Pistol.

Fred got his Spear ready, preparing to charge the Musketeer dummy. The dummy was wearing classic French Musketeer armor, more specifically, the breast-plate. He charged the thing, his first thrust going through the face, obliterating it. Then came the moment of truth. He thrust the spear at the chest-plate . . . only to have the spear tip actually bend, as opposed to piercing the armor. Fred pulled back disappointed. Even though the spear was decidedly deadly, the fact that it couldn't penetrate the armor was a major blow. The only hop for the them getting the mid-range edge now was to hope that the other team did even worse.

Bob came up with the Wheel Lock Pistol cocked and ready. His dummy was wearing Spartan armor set and helmet. He prepared to fire at the chest plate, but when he pulled the trigger, the only thing that happened was a slight 'click' noise. The gun had suffered a misfire. After a few minutes, he had fixed the gun and prepared to fire again. The second time around the gun did fire, hitting the armor right in the chest. When the doctor went to examine the armor, he found that while the bullet had struck the armor dead center, it did not pierce the armor.

Dr. Dorian: While neither one of these managed to pierce the other's armor, I think that their are factors we can still take under consideration. Mostly, though the spear may not pierce the Musketeer armor, it can still be used to great effect on the unprotected parts of the body. The pistol on the other hand, while possibly being effective on unarmored body-parts, it also jams. For that reason, I'm picking the spear because it cannot jam.

Edge: Spartan

Narrator: Now the two warriors will take aim at each other with their deadly long range weaponry: The Musketeer's Flintlock Musket, against the Spartan Javelin.

Bob prepared the musket. The musket took a very long time to load with ammo, something the judges took into account. He took aim at a Spartan dummy, aiming dead center at his chest plate. With a bang, the bullet flew true, and struck the bronze armor. When the doctor went to inspect the shot, surprise! The bullet had managed to break through. And due to the location of the shot, it was a guaranteed kill.

Fred came next, holding a Javelin loosely in his hand. Taking the proper stance he hurls the javelin with all his might . . .  only for it to bounce harmlessly off the Musketeer armor. Frustrated, he takes a second javelin and chucks it just a bit harder. By either luck or skill, the javelin hits the dummy in the face, puncturing a decent sized hole in it (though the javelin is only slightly in there, and quickly falls out on its own).

Dr. Dorian: Well, this time the answer is clear. For range, and the ability to pierce the Spartan armor, the Long Range Edge goes to the Flintlock Musket.

Edge: Musketeer

Narrator: Now our two warriors will clash sword to sword with their short range weapons: The Spartan Short Sword and the Musketeer's Rapier & Main Gauche.

Bob was determined to win this round, and charged his dummy with a blind fury. With a single swing he lopped off the dummies arm, and then proceeded to stab it in the heart. Before decapitating it.

Dr. Dorian: Well, it may not be pretty, but the short sword gets the job done petty well. I'd like to see if the Musketeer can match him.

Fred took a proper stance with his Rapier in one hand, and his Main Gauche in the other. Then he reared back his arm and stabbed the dummy in the face with the Rapier. He proceeded to stab the dummy four times in the next three seconds. He finished it all off by stabbing the dummy in the throat with the Main Gauche.

Dr. Dorian: Well, I think I can appreciate the things that the Rapier & Main Gauche bring to the table. The thin sword and dagger should be able to work into the kinks and crevices of the Spartan armor. The Rapier is also much more flexible and easier to handle. That combined with its longer reach gives the Rapier & Main Gauche the short range edge.

Edge: Musketeer

Narrator: The final test has come, and in it we will see which warrior possesses the better special weapon: The Musketeer's Grenade, and the infamous Spartan Shield.

This test was going to a special joint test. Individually, the shield and grenade had already proven themselves deadly to dummies. The spartan shield especially has well known on the DW. But the crew was curious, would the shield be able to protect a Spartan from the fury of a black powder grenade?

Fred glared at the Spartan shield. Standing behind the shield was a dummy in Spartan garb. Fred lit the fuse and hurled it at the shield. It bounced against it and landed right in front of it. Then it exploded with a large boom! The force of the explosion kicked up a large cloud of dust, and when the dust settled, the team saw . . . nothing. The shield had a pretty big dent in it, but other then that nothing really noticeable. The computers said that the Spartan likely had a broken arm, and may be stunned, but that wasn't saying much considering that Fred had just thrown a GRENADE! It was possible that the shockwave could kill the Spartan, but that was also just a possibility.

Dr. Dorian: I can't believe that the Spartan Shield did it again. First the Ninjas' Kusarigama, then the Samurai's Kanabo, and now the Musketeer's Grenade! Can nothing break this thing? I guess we'll just have to give the special weapon edge to the Spartan Shield, for being able to take pretty much anything we throw at it.

Edge: Spartan

Narrator: With all the testing complete, Max Geiger uploads the data gathered from the tests into the battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studio, to simulate a battle to the death between these two warriors. To make sure that victory isn't snatched by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated 1000 times. Who will win in this battle of some of histories strongest warriors? The Spartans, whose teamwork and skill allowed them to butcher their way through hundreds of Persians? Or the French Musketeer, who defended France and it's King, and were ruthless masters of their trade?

Close Range Edge: Musketeer Rapier & Main Gauche

Mid Range Edge: Spartan Spear

Long Range Edge: Musketeer Flintlock Musket

Special Weapon Edge: Spartan Shield

It's time to find out which warrior is truly the deadliest. Max hits the button on the computer, and suddenly the screen goes "Matrix" on us.

This fight takes place just outside a forest. A group of Musketeer's emerge from the forest, looking around. They see a group of Spartan warriors coming down the forest path. The two groups see each other, and eye the others wearily. Finally the head Spartan nods to his men, and screams out an order. The Spartan's form a shield wall and charge at the Musketeer's. The Musketeer's respond by pointing their Muskets at the charging group. Though the five of them fire at once, some of the shots miss, or are deflected off the Spartan Shield. However, one Spartan has the misfortune to be hit right in the throat. He gives a startled grunt before falling flat on his face. Knowing they would not have time to reload their weapons, the Musketeer's decided they would regroup in the forest.

Spartan: 4                                Musketeer: 5

 As they turned to run, a Spartan hurled a Javelin at their retreating forms. Though the Javelin didn't kill any of them, it did hit one of the Musketeer's in the back of the leg, sending him sprawling to the ground. He was unable to crawl to the safety of the trees as the Spartans reached him. Most of them just ran over him, injuring him further. But the Spartan who threw the Javelin stayed. The Musketeer crawled backwards while drawing his Wheel Lock Pistol, while the Spartan readied his Spear. The Spartan stopped at the sight of the Pistol, unsure as to what it was. The Musketeer smirked, and pulled the trigger. But the only thing that came out was small 'click' as the gun misfired. The Musketeer looked at his pistol horrified, just as the Spartan drove his Spear through the Musketeer's throat.

Spartan: 4                                Musketeer: 4

The Spartans ran through the forest searching for the Musketeers. Deciding they would cover more ground apart, the split up into teams, one with two people, the other with three.

As the two man team wandered the forest, a Musketeer leaned out from behind a tree that was behind the Spartans. Readying his Musket he hollered at the Spartans. When they turned around, he shot one of them right through the face plate in the helmet, killing instantly.

Spartan: 3                                Musketeer: 4

Furious, the other Spartan charged him with surprising speed. Unable to draw his sword in time, the Musketeer swung his Musket like a club at the Spartan, only to have it break against the Spartan Shield.

The Spartan then knocked the Frenchman to the ground; banging his head against a tree root and knocking him out. The Spartan then prepared to stab him with his Short Sword. But before he could, something hit him in the back of the shoulder. He turned around and saw another Musketeer holding a smoking Pistol. Annoyed, he stabbed the Short Sword into the tree, took a Javelin from his belt, and chucked it at his assailant. The Musketeer leaned out of the way and fired another two Wheel Lock Pistol at the Spartan, one hitting him in the chest, put not penetrating his armor. The other hit the same arm as the initial shot, just above the elbow. The Spartan grunted in pain, as the damage to his arm made him drop his shield. The Musketeer suddenly grinned and turned and fled to the forest growth. The Spartan, confused looked back at the unconscious Musketeer only to find him gone, with a grenade in his place. The Spartan turned to run, but it was too late. The Grenade went off, and without the protection of his Shield, he was blasted backwards into a tree, breaking his neck.

Spartan: 2                                Musketeer: 4

A Musketeer walked through the woods, keeping an eye out for any Spartans. Meanwhile behind him, one of those Spartans was sneaking up behind him. Just as the Spartan reared back his Spear to impale the Musketeer, his foot snapped a branch, and the Musketeer spun around. The Spear grazed his steel armor, leaving only a scratch. The Spartan tried a follow up with a side-swipe with his shield, but the Musketeer ducked under the attack and stabbed the offending arm with his Main Gauche. The Spartan cried out as he let the Shield go and drew back his arm. The Musketeer tried to stab him in the neck with the dagger, but the Spartan caught his arm mid swing. The Frenchman raised his Rapier, but the Spartan reared his head back and smashed his head into the French Guard. The blow struck so hard it dazed the Musketeer just for a moment, which was all the Spartan needed. When he grabbed the back of the Musketeer's head and slammed it into his armored knee, he dropped his Rapier sword. And when the Spartan smashed his head into a nearby tree, it was clear that the Musketeer was only barely holding on to consciousness. Before the Musketeer could fall backwards to the ground, the Spartan caught him by his steel breastplate. The Musketeer could do nothing, even as the Spartan drew his Short Sword from his belt. With one quick slash, the Spartan had decapitated the Musketeer.

Spartan: 2                                Musketeer: 3

In another part of the forest, a Spartan had managed to get the drop on a Musketeer, and now both were engaged in battle. The Spartan would stab with his Spear, and the Musketeer would parry with his Rapier. Finally the Spartan spun a full 360 degrees, and attempted to smash the Spear in to the Musketeer's side. The Musketeer however, countered with an upwards slice that severed the Spearhead from the shaft. However, the Musketeer wasn't able to avoid the Shield to the chin, which cracked the Musketeer's jawbone. As he lay on the ground, nursing his sore jaw, he quickly had to roll out of the way as the Spartan went to bring his Sword down on his throat. Acting quickly, the Musketeer took his Main Gauche and stabbed through the he Spartan's armpit. With no armor there to shield him, the blade went in easily, and pierced the heart. The Spartan's body gave a slight jerk, before it went slack.

Spartan: 1                                Musketeer: 3

The Musketeer stood up and laughed in victory. But then he heard a roaring battle call and turned, just as a Short Sword severed his Rapier arm, and the Spartan Shield smashed the side of his face. The Musketeer looked up at his assailant with one bloodshot eye, and saw the grim face of the Spartan Commander. That was the last thing he saw, as the Spartan Commander brought his Shield down, and crushed his throat.

Spartan: 1                                Musketeer: 2

Suddenly, the Head French Musketeer stepped from the Shadows, his Rapier draw, his body in a dueling stance. The Spartan faced him in a stance of his own, Short Sword at the ready. The two leaders charged each and began a duel to the death. The two seemed evenly matched, trading blow for blow. Then the Musketeer attempted a disarming maneuver; and though it didn't make the Spartan lose his sword, it did give the Musketeer an opening. He slashed upward with his Rapier, hoping to put it through the opening in the Spartan Leader's helmet. However, the move only worked partially, as the Spartan leaned back in an attempt to avoid the technique, so he didn't die. However, the great length of the Rapier proved its worth, as the point traced up the Spartan's face, and nicked his eye.

Roaring out in pain, the Spartan stabbed blindly and hit the Musketeer in the shoulder. The unlucky Frenchman had no time to avoid the berserker Spartan's shield as it crashed into his side and sent him tumbling backwards to the ground. 

The Spartan suddenly heard yelling in French, and looked in the direction of the voice. It was another Musketeer, looking very angry at the death of his comrades, and the injuries dealt to his leader, and started firing with his Wheel Lock Pistols. The two bullets bounced off the Spartan Shield, however as he started to charge at him. The Musketeer drew his Flintlock Musket, but had no time to fire as the Spartan charged him, now favoring the Spartan Spear rather then his Sword. The Musketeer rolled out of the way to prevent himself from being impaled. Holding the Musket tightly, and fearing for his life, he pointed it at the Spartan and fired it blindly. He heard a choked gasp, and looked at the Spartan. By some incredible luck, he had managed to hit the one part of the Spartan that wasn't armored below the belt. The Spartan leaned heavily against the tree, in incredible agony. That agony turned to anger, as he lashed out and picked up the Musketeer and slammed him into a tree. He unsheathed his Short Sword, and while he briefly considered returning the painful favor to the Frenchman, he prepared to strike. But just as he was about to stab the French guard to death, he heard a shrill whistle. Groaning, the Spartan turned to look at the source . . .

To see the Musketeer Commander, who despite being slightly banged up, fire a Wheel Lock Pistol at close range. The finicky pistol actually fired, and at such close range, the Musketeer couldn't miss the large open slot in the Spartan's helmet that showed his face. The bullet hit dead center, and the Spartan Leader fell backwards dead.

Helping his comrade up, the two removed their hats and cheered: "Vive le Roi!" (Long live the King).

Winner: French Musketeer

French Musketeer: 510

Flintlock Musket: 225

Rapier & Main Gauche: 145

Wheel Lock Pistol: 125

Grenade: 15

Spartan: 490

Shield: 302

Spear: 170

Short Sword: 12

Javelin: 6

Narrator: In this climactic battle between two of the fiercest warriors known to man, the French Musketeers proved their mettle, and came out the victors over the Spartans.

Dr. Dorian: Well, I will say that it was a very close call. The Spartan shield is not to be taken lightly by any means. But I think the Musketeers pulled it off because, like we saw with the Pirate versus the Knight, sometimes having a poor quality gun can be better then having no gun at all. And despite having archaic firearms by today's standards, these guys were the best in their fields, just like the Spartans were the best in theirs. Both are good at what they do, but today, the Musketeers showed that they were better.

We see the Musketeers bandaging up their, wounds. As they make their way back to base, the Head Musketeer takes the Spartan Commanders Shield, planning to paint it in a much more pleasing Fleur De Lis.

The End.