Deadliest Warrior, Chapter 30: Alexander The Great vs. William Wallace
Narrator:
Alexander The Great, the warrior king, whose brutal tactics carved out one of the largest empires in history. Last time, Alexander's latest conquest lead him to the savannas of Africa, where he faced the warlord Shaka Zulu, and put him down.
(We see Alexander fire a gastraphetes at Shaka Zulu's chest, killing him).
Narrator:
William Wallace; William Wallace; the legendary scottish rebel, who lead a bloodthirsty army of Highlanders against the mighty English empire. Last time, Wallace showed us that might makes right, when he faced master strategist Sun Tzu, in a battle that made heads roll.
(We see William Wallace swing his Claymore, and decapitated Sun Tzu).
WHO IS DEADLIEST?
To find out, our world class fighters are testing histories most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is....THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!
Alexander The Great
340 - 323 BC
Height - 5' 7"
Weight - 155 LBS
Armor - Bronze Cuirass
William Wallace
c. 1270 - 1305
Scotland
Gear - 40 LBS
Armor - Chain Mail
Narrator: Here in the fight club, we take four weapons used by Warrior King, Alexander the Great:
Kopis
Gastraphetes
Xyston
Macedonian Shield
Narrator: and see how they stack up against the weapons of William Wallace:
War Hammer
Ball & Chain
Claymore
Targe & Dirk
Narrator: For our first test, the two teams will clash together as they bring out their close range weapons: Alexanders' Kopis against William's War Hammer.
Fred took the Kopis, and walked toward a replica of Wallace's armor. He twirled the sword in his hand, before giving the dummy a vicious slash. Not surprisingly, the Kopis failed to do any significant damage. But, when he stabbed the dummy with the point of his sword, he was rewarded with a spurt of blood as he pierced the heart. This proved that the Kopis was a viable threat to Wallace.
Next it was Bob's turn. Taking his War Hammer he stepped up to a bronze cuirass and swung for the fences. The Hammer formed a dent in the armor, but that wasn't enough for Bob. Turning the Hammer over in his palm, he struck the bronze with the pick end. The results weren't quite as spectacular, but it did make a small hole in the armor. The damage done, the team allowed the doctor to examine the wounds.
Dr. Dorian: This first wound not to serious. It definitely bruised the ribs, but this is not a killing blow. This second wound, while at first appearing to be deadly, didn't actually penetrate the skin all that deeply. The amor did its job and observed most of the blows. These two strikes definitely hurt, and perhaps enough of them in a similar area could potentially be lethal. But comparing that to the clear lethality of the Kopis it's obvious what the choice is. The close range edge goes to the Kopis.
Edge: Alexander The Great
Narrator: Next comes the second test, our warriors take aim, with their long range weaponry: Wallace's Ball & Chain goes against Alexander's Gastraphetes.
Max: This one is easy. The ball & chain is not an effective weapon. The Gastraphetes has it in range, power, and accuracy. And as we already know, crossbows are strong enough to pierce chain mail. The long range edge goes to the Gastraphetes.
Edge: Alexander The Great
Narrator: For our third test, these two legendary warriors will engage in some mid range combat with: Alexander's Xyston and William's Claymore.
Geoff: This one is actually somewhat tougher. The Xyston certainly has it in range. But off of a horse, the weapon tends to be unwieldy. It could probably pierce the chain mail. The Claymore on the other hand, is easily William Wallace's most devastating weapon. It is easily powerful enough to destroy the Xyston if they came up against each other. Wallace is also a master of the Claymore, a weapon which doesn't act as unwieldily as the Xyston. I'm really on the fence here, but I think if it came down to it, I'd give the mid range edge to the Claymore.
Edge: William Wallace.
Narrator: For our final test, our warriors bring out their very special weapons: William Wallace's Targe & Dirk, and Alexander The Great's Macedonian Shield.
Max: Yes, we have a new weapon!
Geoff: It's not really much of a weapon, more of a ---
Max: New Weapon!
Geoff: Fine, whatever……
Dr. Dorian: That's right the Macedonian shield; it has a diameter of 62 - 74 cm. It is made of a thin bronze or iron sheet. The inside side was wooden or multilayer leather construction with handle fixed on. Members of Alexander's personal guard would likely use the larger version, so we'll assume that's the one he would use as well.
The team put the shield on a bar, each waiting to take a shot at the shield to test the defense.
First Bob took the War Hammer and slammed it against the shield. Instantly a large dent formed in the shield, and the computers stated that the arm holding it would likely have broken.
Changing out the shields, they then threw a Ball & Chain at it. It also made a dent, but other then that, it did no significant damage.
Next, Bob took hold of the Claymore and charge the shield. Amazingly, the steel sword cut into the Bronze Shield.
Dr. Dorian: Well, it seems that the Bronze shield is not immune to Wallace's steel weapons. Both the Hammer and the Claymore are capable of causing major damage to Alex even when he is behind his Shield. Now, can Alex's weapons do the same?
Fred takes a look at the smaller Targe shield. Taking the Kopis sword, the swung at it. It struck the shield, cutting into it deeply.
Then, he fired with his Gastraphetes. The bolt flew across the range, burying itself in the wood. However, the bolt surprisingly did not penetrate all the way through.
As for the Xyston spear, the team found that when on foot, the spear couldn't pierce the shield. But on horse back, it easily smashed the wooden shield.
For the final test, the team decides to test out what will happen when the two shields charge one another. This will be used to decide if the spike on the Targe is capable of puncturing the bronze shield.
The shields are set up on special robots provided by Geoff. At the push of a button, the two charge each other full pelt, Shields in front of them. They come together in a great crash, and all is still. When the team pulls them apart, they see that, yes, the iron spike did puncture through the shield, though only if Wallace was running full speed.
Dr. Dorian: It's close, but I'm giving this one to Wallace's Targe and Dirk Combo. The two shields are relatively equal, but Wallace brings that extra something to the table with the steel spike and dagger.
Edge: William Wallace
Narrator: With all the testing complete, Max Geiger uploads the data gathered from the tests into the battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studio, to simulate a battle to the death between these two warriors. To make sure that victory isn't snatched by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated 1000 times. Who will win in battle of leaders? Alexander The Great, who lead his army to create one of the largest empress in the world's history? Or William Wallace, who lead his army to rebel against one of the mightiest empires in the world?
Close Range Edge: Alexander's Kopis
Mid Range Edge: William's Claymore
Long Range Edge: Alexander's Gastraphetes
Special Weapon Edge: William's Targe & Dirk
It's time to find out which warrior is truly the deadliest. Max hits the button on the computer, and suddenly the screen goes "Matrix" on us.
This story takes place on a rolling hillside. Alexander the Great reaches the top of one of the hills on horseback, and gazes over the land. Across the field, he sees William Wallace emerge on the opposite side. The two warriors stare each other down, assessing the warrior before them.
Deciding to make the first move, Alexander a bolt from his Gastraphetes. The deadly arrow flies toward Wallace, who was able to see it coming, and thus easily sidestepped. Grunting in anger, Wallace charged at Alexander. All of this seemed vaguely familiar to the warrior king, even the part where his opponent dodged his second projectile.
Deciding to give up on fighting long range, Alex charged foreword with his Xyston at the ready. He saw Wallace grab an iron ball from his waist, but thought nothing of it. Just as he was about to skewer the large man, Wallace ducked, saving his life. Wallace frowned. On horseback, it would be difficult to defeat this opponent. He had to get him on the ground. Once there, Wallace was sure he could use his superior strength to win the day.
As his attacker passed him, Wallace began to spin, Ball & Chain in hand. Just as Alex turned his horse around, he caught sight of a large grey blur heading right at him. The Ball & Chain slammed into his bronze cuirass with enough force to knock him right off him horse. Landing hard, Alex fought to catch his breath. Seeing the rider was down, Wallace armed himself with his War Hammer and Targe, and charged the downed man.
Sitting up, Alexander unslings his Macedonian Shield, and readies his Xyston. As soon as he's done that, William is on him. Alex manages to keep the hammer-swinger at distance with his Xyston, but finds himself unable to land any decent hits. He thrusts his spear, tearing the side of William's shirt, but nothing else. Will finally manages to get close enough to launch a powerful swing, but Alex raises his shield at the last second to block, sending a responding bong sound across the land.
Alex hastily steps back, stabbing with his spear in a desperate attempt to kill his enemy. One comes close enough to force Wallace to raise his smaller Targe shield to defend. The spear point strikes hard, but it hadn't been thrust hard enough to break the shield. Before Alex could retract the Xyston, William smashed the Xyston off with his War Hammer, breaking it in half.
With no spear to keep him at bay Wallace attempts to smash Alex's head in. Luckily Alex raised his Macedonian shield at the last moment, saving his life. Even as William continues to pound at the shield with his hammer, Alex tries to stab him with remains of the Xyston to no effect. However, slamming his Macedonian Shield into him seems quiet effective, as it makes Wallace stumble back slightly, giving Alex some much needed room.
Jumping back, Alex quickly discards the broken spear in favor of his Kopis sword. When Wallace charges him again, the warrior king skillfully side steps and ends up behind Wallace in one smooth motion. He slices at Wallace's exposed back, the blade slicing against the chain-mail. Wallace turns around quickly, Hammer set to smash Alex's head in. But Alex leans back, and slices the hammer head clean off with his sword. Alex tires to press his advantage, only for his sword to be blocked by the Targe's spike. This block is followed by a wicked punch to the chin which sends Alex stumbling back. As he does, Wallace takes out his Dirk dagger.
He charges Alex, the spike on his Targe leading the way. Alex puts his Macedonian shield in front of him to defend, but this turns out to be a mistake. The two shields collide, but the steel spike, driven by the force of Wallace's charge, pierces the bronze shield. The spike drives itself through Alex's shield arm, causing him to cry out in agony. He tries to get a stab at Wallace, but the bigger man deflects with his Dirk. Wallace tries to stab him in the head, but Alex's helmet saves his life. A lean of the head causes only a scratch to the helmet. But it would only be the once, as the punch Wallace follows with knocks the helmet off. Alex finally get a break with he stabs at Wallace's leg with his Kopis. The blade pierces the big man's upper thigh, causing him to grunt in pain then hastily step back to avoid a lethal injury. Wallace tries to retaliate with the Dirk, but the longer Kopis knocks the dagger from Wallace's hands.
With no other choice, Wallace drops his shield, and uses both hands to take up his Claymore. He sliced down with the large blade, only for Alex to side step his attack easily. While one of his arms may have been badly injured, his legs worked just fine. He lashed out with the Kopis, slicing a gash up William's arm.
Wallace grunted in annoyance, changing the direction of his blow in an attempt to slice his frustrating enemy in half. But Alex just stepped back, the tip of the Claymore tracing a thin scratch across the armor. Wallace stopped his blade's swing with effort, and tried to drive the point of his sword home with a stab, but Alex knocked his blade off course with his Kopis. He then counter attacked by stabbing at Wallace's head. Scotland's hero was only just able to duck and roll out of the way of the blade that the Warrior King had sought to put through his eye socket.
Alex turned to face his opponent, sneering down from where the man was still in a kneeling position. That was how it should be. Raising his Kopis high, he brought it down with all his might, Wallace just managing to bring his Claymore up in a guard position in the nick of time.
The two struggled for dominance, Wallace having greater strength, but Alex having the better position. The swords pushed both ways, first nearing Wallace, only for him to push back and bring the swords closer to Alex. But eventually, a major factor came into play: Alexander's injured arm. Wallace had two good arms to push his large blade, while Alex only had one good arm and one heavily injured arm to push his smaller blade. So while it was very slow, the balance of power was shifting in Wallace's direction.
With a great heave, Wallace stood to his full hight, knocking Alexander the Great's Kopis away from him. Before Alex could do anything, Wallace sliced his sword arm right off. A second swing of his massive blade took both his legs. Alexander the Great looks up at William Wallace, for the first time feeling true fear in his heart. Wallace feels no such thing, feeling only the rush of battle as he raised the Claymore high above his head. With a mighty war cry William Wallace brings the blade down like Death's scythe, splitting Alexander the Great's head in half like a melon.
Stepping back, Wallace reared his head back and roared in victory, reveling in the feeling he got from defeating such a worthy foe.
Winner: William Wallace
William Wallace: 609
Claymore: 313
Targe & Dirk: 233
War Hammer: 62
Ball & Chain: 1
Alexander the Great: 391
Xyston: 122
Kopis: 117
Macedonian Shield: 103
Gastraphetes: 49
Narrator: In this battle of two titanic leaders, it was William Wallace that triumphed over Alexander the Great.
Geoff: In all of our tests, we found that Alexander could only best Wallace when he could keep him at bay with his Xyston and Gastraphetes. His Xyston spear was especially effective at piercing Wallace's chain-mail armor, much like the Iklwa Shaka Zulu used. But unfortunately, all of his other weapons were only moderately effective, and none of them scored over two hundred kills. William Wallace simply had the better killing tools, due to him being from a more developed point in history.
We see Wallace walk back to camp limping slightly. Arriving there, he allows his army's medic to take a look at his leg, and bandaged it and the cut on his arm. When he gets back to his tent, he opens a chest, placing the Kopis of Alexander the Great inside next to Sun Tzu's Jian. This was the second time he had gone out hunting, only to find himself in a life or death battle. Something strange was going on here, and he was determined to find out what it was…
The End.
